Perfect foods grouped

9 ingredients to save your life.  Eat one of these and you do not need anything else all day.

Build your sandwich in this order: JengaTower 1-bakery fresh buns (grains/carbs/vitamin B/fiber for digestion): sesame seed/poppy seed kaiser, onion roll – also pumpernickel bread (contains rye)

since rye and poppies make people happy, these are good choices of bread

2-on bottom slice – dijon mustard – anything made with vinegar is magic and good and a blood thinner

mustard seed is in the Bible – so extra good

I went to Dijon, France with a 19 year old Swedish guy once.  That was good for my health.

3-thinly sliced purple onion to cover the bread

everyone knows onions are especially good for circulation and overall blood/heart health

billions of poor people can’t be wrong shoecowfront4-sliced rare roast beef – look for date packaged and pinkness desired – 2-3 slices depending on size of slice – usually about $2 worth is perfect.

If you slice your own (I make a perfect rare roast beef coated in dijon and horseradish) make sure you have extra good teeth.

Cows may at least be slaughtered using the Temple Grandin system, so there is a chance it is not the worst of worst meats to eat.  (But never eat at McDonalds)

and rare roast beef is protein – and blood for blood – iron worthy for a menstrual women!! (and also remember beets! and spinach! for your iron-meal – but no beets in this sandwich)

5-curly lettuce works best – take one or two full leaves, wash well, wrap in dishtowel and squeeze – spread out and smash in towel until moisture out but leaf is still fresh – fold on top of beef, but let spill out of the sandwich perimeters.

Everyone knows you need greens (spinach works great in this sandwich as well)

parsley can work too if you like it – a couple of large sprigs – but not cilantro – because cilantro is dumb

greens are a specific kind of veggie too many ignore – chlorophyl filled vessels of the lungs of the planet the darker the green the higher the iron.  Also fiber for digestion and very pretty in the middle of a sandwich.

6-two slices tomato – buy a real tomato not a fake one

real tomatoes have a smell, fake tomatoes are perfect looking and have texture but little taste and no smell

everyone knows tomato is really a fruit, so therefore you are getting vitamin A and C

this is where you salt and crack-pepper it – always on the tomato. Commercial salt has iodine, and pepper – see below.

7-jalapeno peppers – peppers are genus capsicum, peppers have salicylic acid, I like them pickled (vinegar!)

daily low aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid) is good for the heart, and in countries where they eat lots of hot peppers – is there a lot of heart disease? no!

also if you are ever poor, spicy food makes you feel more full for longer – look at Mexico and India!

8-thin slice of old cheddar cheese – enough to cover the above ingredients from the other slice of bread/bun

obvious – vitamin D and calcium

9-I like Miracle Whip.  I’m Protestant, dammit!!  You can use Hellmann’s or horseradish or something else creamy.

fats (vitamin E) are necessary for shiny hair and good digestion.  Machines need oil, so do people.

top half of bun, don’t squish too hard. lunch If you are poor – omit roast beef, lettuce, tomato, dijon, jalapenos

any bread.  substitute any chopped or sliced onion for purple onion, use at least a mayo-ish substance -even a dab of creamy salad dressing will do – and anything made of cheese or somewhat cheese-like (since you don’t have real old cheddar, right? there’s something in the house that is cheese-like)

open face in toaster oven  – add pepper just before serving for sophistication !

You’re probably drunk, this is as healthy as you get! BloodyCaesar If you are too busy to eat, this drink (the Bloody Caesar) is also a meal

Protein: clams in the Clamato

Fruit: tomato is a fruit, also slice of lemon or lime

Vegetable: stalk of celery

Carbohydrates/Starch: Vodka is made from potatoes



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